© Numero Unoma
How does one ponder one’s mortality without being morbid?
Easy! By understanding that to truly live, is to live in the moment. Otherwise all you are doing is living to die. We aren’t promised yesterday or tomorrow. The present is all we have, and you’d better believe it, “when God takes you out, it’s a date”. I took that from a Page Kennedy track dedicated to his late niece, whose death left him shaken. RIP Arielle.
Only three things in life are certain, my dears: birth, death and change. We can do nothing about the first, but believe it or not, we can to some extent influence the second by employing the third. Like eating less sugar or salt when we are diagnosed with diabetes or high BP, respectively. Or even if we haven’t been.
More important than taking care of one’s body, that temple in which one’s spirit and soul reside, is taking care of those latter two, because unlike the carbon-based slab of meat that is the human body, our spirits and souls live on forever…apparently…right?
I have friends who practice all sorts of religions. Obviously Christianity and Islam are the majority usual suspects, but I also have Buddhist, Hindu, Sikh, Jewish and Bahai friends. Plus I have friends who worship Ifa, Orisha and Odinani. I also have friends who identify as atheist. That particular last category always irks me, and I will forever encourage atheists of the world to consider re-branding as agnostic. To me that seems a more intelligent definition of one’s inability or refusal to believe in God, since nobody can scientifically prove either the existence or the non-existence of God, and non-believers will always reasonably be left wondering. Anyway, none of my beeswax really.
All I am here to say today is that even if you don’t believe in God, but you consider yourself to be intelligent, rational and logical, then it would make sense to hedge your bets, just in case you’re wrong and there is a God, wouldn’t you say? Nuff said.
As it happens, our Nigerian cultures have their own take on this subject. In Igbo and Yoruba we sometimes name children to invoke a sense of self awareness that informs one’s actions and behaviour with the knowledge that tomorrow is not promised us. Onyeamaechi (often shortened to Amaechi), and Tanimola, (Tani) both ask ‘who knows tomorrow?’, and remind us to be mindful that we will die one day, sooner or later, and therefore we should always behave in such a way as to position ourselves for an optimal outcome, in the event of our demise.
But it’s not only or all about our soul either. It’s also about physically and emotionally making the best of the time given us in this life, and on this planet, either individually or collectively. There are a few things to keep in mind and in sight:
For starters there are all the platitudes about having an attitude of gratitude, which, while they mean well, they cause, it seems, a certain disconnect from actually feeling grateful. This could be because in saying an ‘alibi thank you’, we imagine that we have actually been, or are actually being grateful. Incidentally, I think that true gratitude has a significant component of contentment to it, so that if you cannot be content with what you have, then you will have not passed that module in the school of life, and therefore cannot move on to the next one. Once you become truly grateful for your lot in life, you may begin to want more. And by natural progression, you will move onwards and upwards.
One way of achieving contentment is to minimise materialism. Think about it frankly and honestly: there are so many things you own that you could do without. Next time, before you purchase something, ask yourself “do I NEED it?” Then put it back down if you don’t. It really is that easy. If you are really serious, then what you could do next is put the money you would have just spent on it into a savings account that has neither card not internet access and forget it. After all, you were just about to spend it on something you don’t need, therefore consider the money GONE.
Another thing that is so crucial to mindful living is quality time. Unfortunately, the concept appears to have been hijacked, compromised and bastardised by the sexual connotations that are too often attributed to its meaning, when all the term really advocates, is never taking loved ones for granted. Ergo, don’t stop complimenting your significant other (and don’t cheat on them either, btw!). Spend time engaging with your children’s (sometimes annoying) chatter. Never be too busy to check in with friends, and never (I mean NEVAH) forget to tell people that you love them. It might be the last chance you have to do so. That’s the short version, btw.
There’s also this notion of YOLO. One can’t even argue with it, per se. The fact is, you only live once. At least in this life. Unless you believe in reincarnation, in which case, each life is one life, so consider each life on its own merit, which is a one time thing, and therefore qualifies as ‘once’. So why not get out there and embrace adventure and spontaneity? This is different to being impulsive, btw. Why not live out your passions? Whatever you do, do not allow anybody dampen your fervour. Certainly, do not allow anybody tell you how to be you, they need to focus their attention on their own stuff.
Furthermore, when life knocks you back, dust yourself off, get up, and get straight back in that saddle. Right on, ride on baby! Life’s too short for misplaced hang-ups and regrets. Business as usual is where it’s at, my friend. Time waits for no man. Or woman. Seize the day, carpe diem!
In all that you do, remember the fact that one day you will die. This means that not only should you make your time here count, but you should also think about all the consequences, aka karma. Please understand that what goes around really does actually come around. In Delta State we say, ‘your own dey wait you for front’. You’d better believe it my friend, it’s just around the corner, and karma never forgets an address. Someone recently scoffed at me. “Haha, karma” they said ‘how quaint!”. Good luck with that, Bro. You won’t catch me tempting fate by insulting karma with that “quaint” adjective, but hey, that’s just me.
Now, ICYDK, ‘memento mori’ is Latin for ‘remember that you will die’. For me personally, that basically sums it all up. Wikipedia states that it “is an artistic or symbolic trope acting as a reminder of the inevitability of death. The concept has its roots in the philosophers of classical antiquity and Christianity, and appeared in funerary art and architecture from the medieval period onwards.”
Some common motifs were the skull, the hourglass (no, not THAT type), and wilting flowers. Memento mori imagery was meant to serve as a reminder that time is a finite resource, as are the aspects of our existence that are time-dependent.
In summary, by extension of any or all of the above, let your life philosophy, in equal parts of YOLO, carpe diem and memento mori, manifest in the knowledge of the fact that you have neither time nor substance to waste. That way, all things being equal, you should be able to eliminate the very undesirable affliction called FOMO. Because you simply would not be missing out. On anything. As you’d have all your bases covered, one would hope.
Naturally, all this must include our approach to environmental issues such as carbon footprint, global warming and single-use plastic, the greatest threats today, to the continued survival and existence of the human race.
Well, I opened this week’s thoughts with inspiration taken from an hiphop artist from Detroit, Michigan, so let me close it with the words of another, also from Motown. “Too many times I felt bad, too many times I couldn’t see what I really had”. Go listen to Guru’s track ‘Count Your Blessings’, and thank me later. RIP Guru. Always remember…memento mori.
The other thing you should remember…is that “Money often costs too much” – Ralph Waldo
Numero Unoma is a multidisciplinary artist and curator, best known for witty, sensitive and incisive work, that dissects her life experiences as a biracial Nigerian, through the technological, socio-political and personal eras of her lifetime, and of course, between the continents and races of her origins. Proudly Nigerian, she is preoccupied with both the minutiae and the grand scale of human rights and wrongs, as well as philosophical musings of practical value.
Her visual work is both semantic and semiotic, her literary work is idiosyncratic.