© Numero Unoma
Yup, fools rush in. This is probably the only reason April fool pranks work. One could say the population of humans on earth comes second in number only to fools, which is probably why there are so many quotations about the latter. That’s got you puzzled. Read on, and you will understand how I mean it.
Having been distracted by the sobering reality of war last week, I didn’t do world poetry day any justice at all. And even though this week, we are already onto another theme, namely the subject of April fools and therefore fools in general, I think he 18th century English poet Alexander Pope gives a perfect segue with his lengthy poem, “An Essay on Criticism’, from which I borrowed a line for today’s title.
For those who are thinking “what does an ancient English poet have to do with anything in Nigeria…or Africa”, well, I can tell you what. We use several lines from this poetic essay regularly, without even knowing where they originated. “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing”, Pope says in his poem. That could be because it is often the stuff fools are made of. We have to start somewhere, so please accept what little knowledge you might get from reading these inadequate 1,500 words each week.
By the way, in case you don’t know, ICYDK means in case you don’t know. So you know what to do…read to the end of this article.
April Fool’s Day is ‘celebrated’ in many different countries, and its origin is not something that historians and other intellectuals seem to be able to agree on. In any case, there is an irony in the fact that the Ukrainian city of Odessa is the only place in the world in which April 1st is a public holiday called Humorina, on which humour is celebrated, and at which Ukrainians say “April the First, I trust nobody” In today’s context, I can’t help wondering if Ukrainian political cartoonists are maxing this out. Perhaps they can find some solace in another line from Pope’s essay poem, namely “To err is human, to forgive divine”
Speaking of the divine, he Bible says the five different types of fools are the simple, silly, sensual, scorning, and steadfast fools.
The simple fool is naive and gullible, and because of his or her lack of discernment, he or she is vulnerable to suggestion and manipulation.
The silly fool is just downright stupid. He or she enjoys living by the maxim “rules are for fools’, and is stupid enough to get angry when things go wrong as a result of their own stupidity.
The sensual fool is one who on the one hand does not lack mental capacity, but seems to have a borderline personality disorder, that causes him or her to reject wisdom or instruction obstinately, because they cannot get over themselves, and generally lack discipline. These fools may get involved in substance misuse and immoral habits. Of these is eventually said “There’s no fool like an old fool”.
The scorning fool is one whose misplaced sense of superiority causes him or her to trip up on his or her own arrogance and hubris. This fool despises authority and can be a rabble rouser, using weaker people (such as the simple fool) to create unrest and contention They are generally proud of the mischief they create. It is possibly of this kind of fool that Doris M. Smith said that “Arguing with a fool proves there are two.”
Finally, the steadfast fool is a wicked person, who is desensitised to the point of being unscrupulous. This fool acts on the conviction of their bad behaviour, and is skilled in arguing their case. I can think of more than a few well known Nigerians who fall into this category.
We are all fools in one way or another, and apparently, the first principle is that you must not fool yourself, because you are the easiest person to fool.
Nigerians have made a fine art not only of fooling people, but also of being fools themselves. Seldom though, are we Nigerians simple fools. We are just too clued up and sharp to be out-bobo’d. But too many of us are the silly, the sensual and the scorning fool all rolled up in one. Too many of us have taken foolishness to a whole new level…the end result is that everywhere ANY Nigerian goes, we carry the burden of the flagrant and blatant rule breaking Nigerian fools. We find that our world is shrinking, and it is increasingly necessary and increasingly difficult to get a visa to go anywhere, even to territories where we once enjoyed vis-free travel. We find that regardless of how well behaved we are, we must suffer the ignominy of having to prove ourselves to be ‘okey’. For example, I have been travelling the Caribbean for three decades, and have never suffered the sort of disrespect over the years, that I am experiencing more and more in the region these days. Back in 2009, having several stamps in my passport as evidence of my previous visits to St Vincent and the Grenadines, I was suddenly received at immigration with hostility and behaviour designed to humiliate me. I reported it at the time to the Prime Minister’s office, who apologised and explained it away with a story about a Nigerian who had defrauded a major bank in the country.
Years later, I had a similar experience in another Caribbean island state, when the apparently wealthy Nigerian CEO of a firm in the country became a fugitive, on the run from Interpol, for making off with people’s money, not before installing his cronies and family members as fixers.
I remember the days when we Nigerians could travel to the UK without a visa. Now try just getting visa appointment. So before you go crying discrimination, understand that all these countries in which Nigerians do scummy and scammy things are merely living by the maxim ‘Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me’. Can you blame them?
Let none of us fool ourselves with the populist pastor rhetoric “It is well”, that there is a quick or easy solution to the array of problems we face. I heard a joke the other day about a pastor who had said that it will be well in Nigeria bailing out to Canada himself.
As for those jostling for a position at the helm, of whom too many are not just fools themselves, but also take us all for fools, let them be warned that time is moving on, and there’s no fool like an old fool. Especially one who goes down in history as a fool. They should also note that you can fool some people some of the time, but you can’t fool all the people all of the time. Epicurus said that “The misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool.” Take note, all those foolish corrupt people who are so fattened with their ill-gotten gains that they lack any conscience at all. These are steadfast fools. Wicked to the core, they will find one day that “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
So anyway, enough serious stuff for now. Have you planned a harmless prank for anyone? Gone are the days when the daughters and I would rig the toilet by spreading cling film across it, much to the misfortune of any male who approached it with a fool, I mean full bladder.
Be careful though, that in the humourless world in which we seem to live today, your prank does not backfire and make a fool of you. We could actually use some comic relief in these bleak times, and I know I can trust Nigerians to come up with some gems. I will be scouring Yabaleft Online to see what the youngsters are up to. I love some of the fresh your cynicism that comes out of our youth on Social Media.
Meanwhile, just as many of us may be preoccupied with the frivolities of playing pranks on April 1, our Muslim sisters and brothers and will be slightly more sombre as they begin the month of Ramadan, even as those of us Christians who observe Lent move into the last two weeks of our own fast.
And for my atheist friends, here’s a little non-religious trivia: the tarot card for The Fool often depicts the fool as a ragged vagabond or beggar. The card is meant to depict new beginnings, and having faith in the future. Well, personally I’m feeling a little ragged around the edges. I mean I was just in post-COVID recovery when the wretched war began. So, as April 1 heralds the beginning of both a new month and a new quarter, I am certainly focusing on my faith that my daughter’s name Nkiruka will manifest as a better and brighter future. Loosely transated, Nkiruka means the future’s bright. Amen to that.