In this piece, Sandra Obochi reports the trend on social media about young Nigerian boys getting married to older European and American women and spoke to a cross-section of Nigerian men on why it is becoming fashionable now.
This trend has become rampant in recent times owing to the way things have become in the country. Ranging from laziness, the lack of job opportunities, poverty to the desire to ‘japa’(escape) out of the country. Some Nigerians speaking to this reporter on this trend believe it is because of money and what they can get from these women. However, others believe they might be in love and don’t care about the age difference.
Paul Gere noted that; “older women are emotionally mature, marrying an older woman is one of the best decisions an ambitious man will make. She will give you every support you need. You just need to be able to care for her and satisfy her.”
He added that younger men like older women as they have the resources to take care of them. New National Star reports that relationships, where women are older than their male lovers, have always generated controversies.
Mr. Charles Olisa said a man marrying an older woman is taboo. There is no benefit for the man instead, the woman is being rejuvenated, to sustain her life. It is an abomination. “The man is the head of the house, will the woman respect her husband and become submissive owing to the age difference?” Few parents will allow their son to marry a woman who is closer to their age than his. They believe that she reduces the man’s authority. “
“In my opinion, boys marry older women because of money. They are lazy and can not work for money to marry their age mates. Most of them want to get rich on time and these foreign women can afford to take care of their needs.” He said. Mr. Iye Sampson revealed that it is another style of scam.” I know of a guy, he is married in Nigeria with kids, the wedding was even sponsored by his white girlfriend unknowing to her. A lot of these women are lonely, insecure, and fat.
They feel privileged that a man will want them that is why they keep falling victims of prey.” “Look at what is happening in Nigeria, youths are not gainfully employed and people have this impression that unless you relocate elsewhere, you won’t make it. So younger men use it as a desperation factor- adopted to get married, get a visa, and leave the country. “ Investigations reveal that most times, these older women are the ones who are in the market for young men, they tend to be richer and more powerful. This makes them attractive to young men. Engr. Dayo Gbadegbo said; “the women will rather be with a young man than an older man who can not satisfy them sexually. They look for the man themselves.” “Marrying older women come with less drama of insecurities common with younger women and stability too. These women are independent, financially secure and the younger men see them as quick means to the good life,” he added.
Another respondent, Lukeman Darlington said; “As an Igbo man, I can not. A man is supposed to be older than his wife and not the other way round. The couple when they become old, the woman will lose her interest in sex but the man continues his sexual desire for some more years and may result in going after young girls. “There is absolutely nothing wrong if both parties are willing to put in efforts to make the marriage work but before one makes up his mind to go into such, it is assumed that he has weighed the pros and cons of the decision. This kind of relationship entails lots of courage and sacrifice.”
Lukeman also revealed that this happens commonly among men from the south and rarely from the west. Speaking to New National Star, Constantine Onome, 26-year-old (Not real name) gave his reasons why he married a 58-year-old American woman. The 26-year-old said” I did not think I will do something like this but at a time, I had to let go of my home training. As a Christian, there are some things we should not do regarding morals. I was heartbroken, so I decided not to date Nigerian girls again, they are interested in your money and lazy. I also wanted an easy life. After school, there was no good job forthcoming, I needed the means to survive.”
“I decided to go for foreign women, I have friends who date white women on the internet and have them send funds, bitcoins even iTunes cards. Then I met my wife, we started off as friends and before long, the feelings came and we got married. I don’t love her, she knows I don’t. she loves me so she decided to help me with my career, get what I want out of life, get the green card. “She funded my education and automobile business; we barely have any fight as she is more mature and easy to live with. Although she has two children from her previous marriage, she has decided that I inherit her properties.” “So a lot of people do it because of benefits. What they can get, the women know and they are in for a good time. While some actually fall in love which is very rare.”